Relationships
Relationships are gardens for our souls. I'd like to share a poem with you taken from my book The 5 Phases of Dating...
It was so peaceful…the way my heart answered all of my questions. She held my hand
and immediately I felt love - a love that expanded beyond anything I had ever known.
Even though I knew that I was about to relive all of my past pain, I was not afraid. I felt
safe.
I had asked to know the source of my pain, the reasons why I had been treated so
unfairly, and the reasons why I stayed in relationships that were not emotionally nurturing
to me. I needed to know what I could do to create and receive the love that I really
wanted.
With her holding my hand, we stepped over the broken shards of my heart - stopping at
areas of darkness that materialized right before my eyes.
I relived each relationship one by one, with portal-by-portal coming to light. Not with the
emotion attached to it, but with each question being answered. She showed me how l
had lost myself, my way, how I loved each person more than I loved myself.
She showed me how I gave away so much of myself, that once without that person, like
an accident victim in physical therapy, I had to learn to walk again. I had to learn how to
breathe again…alone and lonely. Each time I would promise myself that it would be
different next time.
Each time it was different. At least, the players were different and the pluses and
minuses were different. I saw how each and every time I started out strong, but due to
searching outside of myself for the love I so desperately needed and not putting myself
first, I conceded. Though the relationships were different, the underlying lesson from
each of them was always the same…”To Thy Own self Be True”
Each time it started out as a great adventure but eventually turned onto a different path.
Once I noticed the change in course, I felt that it was “not nice” to just bail out. I saw how
my fear of failure kept me trying harder to receive and prove that I deserved what only I
could give myself…unconditional love.
I saw and realized that I could not blame the other person in the relationships because
one thing was for sure, they were true to themselves. Those who started out selfish
remained selfish. Those who were needy remained needy. Those who were unable to
commit, remained non-committal. It was I who had changed.
It was I who altered my life, so as not to cause the other person to be insecure. It was I
who decided not to do those things that fed my spirit. It was I who overlooked consistent
disrespectful acts - continuing to cry, beg, plead and dramatize to have those things that
should only come natural to me.
With each lesson, that particular portal disappeared leaving my heart a little lighter. My
heart and I held hands and walked together through the pain, the disappointment, the
fear of abandonment, the deceit from others and the deceit of myself. Neither of us
uttered a single word, instead we communicated through our souls.
When it was all over, we ended up in the same place where the journey had begun. She
looked lovingly into my eyes, opened her arms to me and hugged me until I could feel the
pain of the past dissolve away. She then released her grip on my soul, looked me in the
eyes and disappeared. I thought to myself…the future is up to me now.
The past is not my destiny.
I have the will-power and the strength to shape my life the way
I want it to be.
“The Journey through My
Heart.”
Heart.”
It was so peaceful…the way my heart answered all of my questions. She held my hand
and immediately I felt love - a love that expanded beyond anything I had ever known.
Even though I knew that I was about to relive all of my past pain, I was not afraid. I felt
safe.
I had asked to know the source of my pain, the reasons why I had been treated so
unfairly, and the reasons why I stayed in relationships that were not emotionally nurturing
to me. I needed to know what I could do to create and receive the love that I really
wanted.
With her holding my hand, we stepped over the broken shards of my heart - stopping at
areas of darkness that materialized right before my eyes.
I relived each relationship one by one, with portal-by-portal coming to light. Not with the
emotion attached to it, but with each question being answered. She showed me how l
had lost myself, my way, how I loved each person more than I loved myself.
She showed me how I gave away so much of myself, that once without that person, like
an accident victim in physical therapy, I had to learn to walk again. I had to learn how to
breathe again…alone and lonely. Each time I would promise myself that it would be
different next time.
Each time it was different. At least, the players were different and the pluses and
minuses were different. I saw how each and every time I started out strong, but due to
searching outside of myself for the love I so desperately needed and not putting myself
first, I conceded. Though the relationships were different, the underlying lesson from
each of them was always the same…”To Thy Own self Be True”
Each time it started out as a great adventure but eventually turned onto a different path.
Once I noticed the change in course, I felt that it was “not nice” to just bail out. I saw how
my fear of failure kept me trying harder to receive and prove that I deserved what only I
could give myself…unconditional love.
I saw and realized that I could not blame the other person in the relationships because
one thing was for sure, they were true to themselves. Those who started out selfish
remained selfish. Those who were needy remained needy. Those who were unable to
commit, remained non-committal. It was I who had changed.
It was I who altered my life, so as not to cause the other person to be insecure. It was I
who decided not to do those things that fed my spirit. It was I who overlooked consistent
disrespectful acts - continuing to cry, beg, plead and dramatize to have those things that
should only come natural to me.
With each lesson, that particular portal disappeared leaving my heart a little lighter. My
heart and I held hands and walked together through the pain, the disappointment, the
fear of abandonment, the deceit from others and the deceit of myself. Neither of us
uttered a single word, instead we communicated through our souls.
When it was all over, we ended up in the same place where the journey had begun. She
looked lovingly into my eyes, opened her arms to me and hugged me until I could feel the
pain of the past dissolve away. She then released her grip on my soul, looked me in the
eyes and disappeared. I thought to myself…the future is up to me now.
The past is not my destiny.
I have the will-power and the strength to shape my life the way
I want it to be.
Why I decided to share this poem with you...
I decided to share this poem with you because i know that dating is one area that we can all relate to. Learning the truth about who we are is vital in actually finding and keeping the love that we want. I have truly been an "Equal Opportunity Dater" in my quest to find and keep the love I always wanted and as a result of these experiences, I have now decided to share them with you.
Each of my works is based on not only my personal experiences, but also the experiences of my clients. Journey with us through the gardens of our souls as we set out to find the ultimate in a dating companion only to find what we did not expect to find...OUR TRUTH!
